I am writing this here as I don’t have any other place to put it.<\/p>\n
In the digital world, privacy goes out the window unless you are extremely diligent. Normally it is not something that bothers me as I actually use the aspect of interwebs as a form of therapy. It’s a way to expose my thoughts and open myself up without having to call or write a bunch of people directly.<\/p>\n
It also acts as a stopgap from me saying things that shouldn’t be said.<\/p>\n
But lately I feel like it has become (in certain locations) a restriction. Not even that. To completely honest I find myself almost (but not quite) lying about what I am actually thinking and feeling. All for the sake of others.<\/p>\n
I can’t say that I have this almost crushing “crush” on someone that will never be fulfilled. It’s one of those things that I want to tell everyone and anyone about it. More so this person.<\/p>\n
But unfortunately, there are too many people that would be hurt, pissed or both if I were to post it publicly. Not to mention it would most likely make things worse with this person.<\/p>\n
The point is, after all these years, I haven’t learned a damn thing. I can’t settle, I tried that and failed. I can’t push to make something work, that fails as well. I have tried removed and complacent and that won’t get anyone anywhere.<\/p>\n
I have approached the whole thing from a very intense analytical point of view and I have gone with the flow. There is no honest solution.<\/p>\n
And the main kicker…I’m tired. I am tired of trying it all. I want to stop. I seriously want to stop. And I was going along at a pretty good pace. Then things just keep happening and it starts all over again.<\/p>\n
What I really need to do is to just break all contact with this person. But that, I feel, will just make the whole thing so much worse.<\/p>\n
So, here I am again. You would think I would become rather cozy with the Rock and Hard Place I have been calling my home.<\/p>\n
I think right now, I need to embrace the fable of Sisyphus. I think there may be something learned there.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
We shall see<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am writing this here as I don’t have any other place to put it. In the digital world, privacy […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-108","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lifestyles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenewsratedr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenewsratedr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenewsratedr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenewsratedr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenewsratedr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=108"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thenewsratedr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":109,"href":"https:\/\/thenewsratedr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108\/revisions\/109"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thenewsratedr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenewsratedr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thenewsratedr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}